I Woke Up Ready to Hire Myself
I woke up today ready to hire myself.
Yesterday was a bad day.
I decided I wanted to film a reel. I had some thoughts that had been floating around in my head. I also had the added pressure of this challenge that I had stepped into, to post something every day (why??? Because someone on Instagram said it would improve my organic reach. And I was like, why not?).
Just like most days when I decide to take 5 minutes to film something, 45 minutes later (take 20), I’m frustrated, look mad (RBF anyone!), and want to chuck my phone out the window. But I didn’t. Mostly because I didn’t want to go out in the stupidly frigid temps to retrieve it.
I even spent another 15 minutes editing the unsuccessful reel, just in case I could make something of it.
But alas. DEFEAT.
I spent the next 30 minutes venting to my boyfriend about how pointless social media is. How frustrating it is that business owners have this pressure to be on social media, to post regularly, and to have a following. Like, who has time for that!
And the worst part was that I wasted my entire evening, squashing any hopes of living out the coveted work-life balance (and every business owner says, “What’s that?”).
So naturally, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was ruminating about my life choices.
I am an overwhelmed business owner.
I don’t have a plan.
I’m making it up as I go.
I’m tired, mostly because I can’t find internal rest.
And I feel like I’m standing on quicksand daily, scrambling to ensure I have work tomorrow.
Sound familiar?
I met with a friend for lunch a couple of days ago, and she looked at my website and said, “Kastin, this is not good. You do incredible work, and this doesn’t reflect you at all.” (It’s ok. It was good, welcomed advice! And if you run to go look at it, rest assured I’ve made some changes.)
She was right.
When I decided to launch my business almost a year ago, I took a week to come up with a business name, a business plan, a website, social media, business cards, and all the legal logistics that come with starting a business.
One week.
I’m glad I did that. I’m glad I didn’t overthink it, try to perfect it, or become paralyzed by fear or hesitation. I dove in. The Instagram reel playing over in my head: “It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just start.” We can perfect as we go.
But then things get busy.
Self-investment drops to the bottom of the to-do list. You can relate, right? You get busy doing for others, and those things, those plans, they kind of just drop off.
Until one cold winter evening you have a mini-meltdown, taking way too long to film a reel that, in all honesty, serves absolutely no purpose in the big-picture strategy of your business nor offers any solid value to anyone who happens to stumble upon it (except your boyfriend, who loves everything you do).
And then one day (that’s today), I realize I am the very person that I make it my mission to help. Daily. I do it so well for others. And now it’s time to do it for me.
So what does hiring myself look like?
We’ll consider this our initial consultation. Identifying that there is a problem. Then we Assess. Align. And Advance. Right now, I have no real strategy. I’m not even really sure where my gaps are. I know something doesn’t feel right, but I haven’t put my finger on it. I’m doing just to do. I’m overwhelmed. Some days I put in way too many hours.
I check Indeed at least once a month as I question my life choices. (Is it ok that I’m sharing all this?)
I don’t make the time to reinvest in myself. I struggle to succinctly tell others what I do (why is this so hard for me, when I teach others how to do it all the time?). I know what I do and that I do it well, but I have lost sight of a mission statement I whipped up months ago, and I have no clear vision for where I’m headed. Just ideas that float and try to cling on in an already overcrowded brain.
So rather than commit to posting random content daily that may (and most likely may not) hit my audience (that’s you!!!), I thought I’d invite you into the process.
My process.
Real, raw, and authentic (these are my values, after all).
And hopefully THAT will be something worth your time, to relate, reflect, and shift.
Plus, you can hold me accountable to doing what I say, and saying what I actually do.
